Mary Lynch on how to ask questions

In my last blog, I talked about the dangerous cycle of “why” and what one can do to stop it. It’s really important to understand that it doesn’t mean that we should stop asking questions altogether. Asking questions is perfectly normal and healthy. Asking why fosters critical thinking, which can open you up to a world of creativity, ideas and opportunity. So, although asking why can send some people spiralling out of control, we can use asking questions to our advantage. And here’s how.


In order to make asking questions work for you, you must understand the purpose behind why you’re asking them to begin with. What is it that you want to achieve by asking the question?

  • Do you want to seek out new information?
  • Do you need clarity on a situation?
  • Do you want to be understood?

If the question you’re asking isn’t specific enough, then you won’t get a clear answer.

Murky answers are what lead us down the rabbit hole of needing additional clarification. We can waste time, effort and money chasing down answers to questions that, quite frankly, we shouldn’t have asked in the first place. So, before you ask the question, understand that if you don’t have a reasonable answer to this question, then perhaps you should be asking a different question.


Additionally, not being open makes it impossible for the universe to assist us.To gain the most out of asking a question, we need to be open to the possibilities of the answer. There’s no point in asking a question if we think we already know the answer.

We won’t listen to the answer because we’re only looking to justify our own knowledge, or gain acceptance with what we already believe to be true. Our thoughts will be filtered by our own impression of what we think is right, so we won’t be able to see the complete picture, or the complete answer.

If we think that we already know the answer to the question, then the universe will say “cool she’s got that covered, we don’t need to help her out there.”

The most powerful way to use questioning is to ask the question and just listen. The more open ended the question the better. Be still and reflect on what comes up within you from asking that question. When asking a question, particularly when wanting to create change in your life, be very open and just allow the information to come through without judgement. Observe the possibilities. You may be pleasantly surprised.


Journaling is the perfect tool to, not only, help you ask the right questions, but it also can give you answers. Here’s a wonderful exercise to try. Ask an open ended question and just sit for a few moments. Clear your mind from external thoughts and stimulus. When you start to get information, jot it down. Write quickly so that you don’t give yourself time to question and judge the answers you’re getting. Don’t even read over it straight away. When you feel the exercise is complete, you can either read over it or leave it for you to read over at another time.

Working this way will give your subconscious mind an opportunity to talk to you in an unfiltered way, so you’ll be able to learn a great deal from this process.

Is it possible to use questioning to help grow and evolve? Absolutely. Like a private investigator, you’ll always be acquiring a thirst for knowledge. Asking questions is the key to understanding yourself more, and understanding what is happening in your life. When used with the guidelines above, it can be very beneficial towards helping you make the most of every opportunity. Why don’t you give it a go, and see how you can benefit from asking the right questions?

Life changes when you change